I'm not a Chuck Norris fanatic...but...

It has been a long time since my last post and I apologize (especially to my good friend Lyndo who MADE me blog). I am in 17 credit hours this semester and it takes up a lot of time. I am also in the beginning of the competitve season for college dance teams - Nationals is the first week of April - and putting together our routine is so stressful. I could blog all about that stress...but I want to blog about something funnier.

For some reason that I am trying to still figure out, Americans seem to be obsessed with the CHUCKSTER. Yes...Chuck Norris. His little cameo in "Dodgeball" stole the movie. He put up a thumb...ONE THUMB...and everyone freaked out. So in honor of this American obsession...I have compiled a list of Chuck Norris jokes. I am not going to take credit for these...my good friend Robert sent them to me one night and I thought they were hilarious. I know any Chuck Norris fans will love them too. Even if you are not a fan...they're still pretty humorous.

1. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

2. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

3. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

4. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

5. The movie Anaconda was filmed in Chuck Norris' pants.

6. Chuck Norris had a paper route when he was younger; there were no survivors

7. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

8. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

9. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

10. Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

11. The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

12. When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

13. We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

14. Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

15. Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

16. When Superman squeezes a lump of coal, he creates a diamond. When Chuck Norris squeezes a lump of coal, he creates an African child to work in his diamond mines.

17. Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

18. We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

19. Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.


I hope that all of you enjoy these jokes. If some are politically incorrect I apologize...it's all in good fun!

xoxoxoxo,
Elizabeth

America's Next Top Model Marathon = Heaven

If you are a woman or a gay man you know that on VH1 there has been an "America's Next Top Model" marathon on this week. Actually - I know some straight men that watch it too...but they want to keep that on the DL.

I think that this show is wonderful. I think it is wonderful because Tyra is crazy and that is always fun to watch, the women are beautiful but drama-filled, and the show is funny in general. "Miss" J and Mr. Jay are hilarious...especially when "Miss" J walks arounds the runway with "her" fabulous legs. If you don't believe me about Tyra...check this out:



All of those things make the show great, but for me what makes it addicting is the photography. I am obsessed with photography...and high fashion photography is awesome. I LIVE for photography and the pictures in this show are really wonderful and diverse. Look at some of these examples of the current winner, CariDee English:






She is FIERCE!!! Here are some other pictures that I randomly found that I love:

So beautiful Tyra

So diva

This is Amanda Swafford...her eyes are awesome

This is Yoanna House, winner of Season 2

Eva Pigford, winner of season 3

If you want to see more pictures, go to the UPN/CTW??? website and go to "America's Next Top Model" because they have portfolios in the site. The pictures are beautiful! Screw glamour shots...I want one of these photographers to take my pictures. Here's my shot at ANTM...with my new HAIR COLOR:

FIERCE?! I THINK SO haha...

New Year, New Beginnings

Everyone makes resolutions for the new year. I am no different. When I look back at 2006 there are a lot of things that I want to change about myself. Well I take that back - not change...but improve.

First of all, I really need to work on my habits with money. I need to learn how to SAVE. My car is a great car but if something were to happen to it, I would not have the money to fix it. I need to buy less groceries too - I end up throwing a lot of food away because it goes bad. I need to fix my impulses with spending in general I think.

Secondly, the cliche' resolution: lose weight. I want to really tone my stomach...have that great tummy that does not move. I work out all the time but as people say, "Abs are made in the kitchen." Therefore, I need to cut out junk...at least at night. That means no eating if I am out and its like 2am...no biski's haha.

Thirdly, I want a new look to hopefully go with my better bod (haha). I want to take out the highlights, and maybe go back to my natural color or darker. I sound just like a girly-girl, but I have had this color since 7th grade and I want a change. Here are some ideas...first - showing my color now:





That is my color now...very light brown. My natural color isn't that much different, so I might be putting in some low-lights. Here are some ideas for my new hair color:

great color!

I love Natalie Portman's look. I wasn't sure about the color at first because I am kind of pale...but when I thought of Natalie I realized that she looks HOT as a pale woman with darker hair. I also really like Anne Hathaway's look. I think her color is a little too dark, but with some highlights in her hair...I would really like it. I like her length too:

I love her bangs!

I hope that my new hair color will make the baby blues (eyes) POP. When I go to get my hair did tomorrow (yea I said hair did), I will hopefully leave as a newer and darker Elizabeth.

My last resolution as a new brunette that is real toned is to un-complicate (is that a word?) my love life. I am very Type-A...and so therefore I do not like gray areas. It's either black or white in my world; however, my love life has not been that way at all. So hopefully I can figure out exactly I want from a guy. I guess I don't know myself completely yet..so I hopefully can grow this year and learn just what Elizabeth wants. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this year will be FIERCE (I'm watching America's Next Top Model...). Love you all...HAPPY NEW YEAR!